The Foundation of Friendship
Having a strong group of friends is a deep need that we all have. We all need friends in our lives that help us, encourage us, listen to us, enjoy life with us, laugh with us, cry with us and etc. We need those kind of friends.
The question is: How do we get those kind of friends? How do we put ourselves in a position to have the close group of friends that we want?
The answer is by BEING the type of person that those around you would want to be your friend. Being a person that others find admirable, respectable and worthy of friendship is the first place to start. You will not always get along with everyone you know the same way, but being a person that interests and attracts others to you is a great place to start.
Your friendships and friends will have a lot of different characteristics and aspects. Friends/friendships are like a good house. You need a lot of different things to make a great house-windows, nice doors, closet space, spacious rooms, nice kitchen etc. But if your house has all these things but it doesn’t have a solid foundation then you have a flawed house. It is the same way with friends and friendships. You may have a lot of things but if certain things are non-existent there is only so far you can go in your friendship.
What is that one thing that each friend and friendship should have?
This one aspect of friendship that every friend should possess is the capacity and the desire to sacrifice for the other person. Being someone that is willing to sacrifice for you is invaluable and vital to any close friendship. Everyone wants a friend that will give something up to be there for us when we need them. Everyone wants a friend that is willing to help us out even if there is nothing in it for them. That is a true friend.
If that is a friend that you want, doesn’t it make sense to be that kind of person for others? If you want that sacrificial friend, we would suggest that you aspire to be that for the people in your life. If there are certain people that you want to grow closer to, then do something for them that means something to them. Be there when they need somebody, even when it is inconvenient or causes you to miss out on something.
When you begin to do that for others you will attract people that want that and in so doing you will create friendships based on personal sacrifice.
Think about someone in your life that you consider a great friend, and reflect on how much they have sacrificed for you? (time, money, babysitting, helping you with projects) If there is someone you want to grow in your friendship with, ask yourself: in what ways can I sacrifice for them?
This will open the door to true and enduring friendships.